And then I told my boss...

Sometimes awkward, sometimes inappropriate, but always entertaining interactions with senior management that are too good to go unshared.

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New Employee

Boss: & this is Jane Doe, my assistant.

New Employee: Hi Jane, nice to meet you.

Me: Hi there.

Boss: That’s about as nice of a greeting you’ll get from her.  Jane’s the sort of employee that will either ignore you or scare the shit out of you.

New Employee: Ermm…

Me: Please do yourself a favor & just ignore everything he says.